Control
by TTndAvatarFan
Summary: Beastboy and Raven recall what it's like to loose oneself completely, and realize, maybe loosing control isn't such a bad thing after all.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note: _**_I've been toying with this idea for a while. It was supposed to be a tie in with my story 'In the Beginning' but I think for now, it's okay as a standalone, don't you think? _

_My first lemon. _

_Be gentle with me. _

**_DISCLAIMER: _**_I don't own shiyat. Or Teen Titans._

* * *

It's a hot spring afternoon. I let out a lazy yawn, and adjust the towel wrapped around my hips. I check my phone to make sure there weren't any missed calls while I was showering. Seeing none, I flop ungracefully onto the bed, and close my eyes. God, I'm beat.

Nobody told me how hard it was going to be juggling my life as a normal person and as a superhero. I could really use a Dummies Guide to Dual Identities right about now.

It's been a few years since I moved to San Francisco. It was inevitable. We weren't teens anymore. Which kinda defeats the name...Teen Titans. Somewhere along the way we all grew up. Got new responsibilities. Had families. Went back home. I remember the last night we spent together in the Tower. Starfire was sobbing, Cy's voice cracked several times, and both Raven and Robin were unusually quiet. We reminded each other where we were all headed.

As the heir to the Wayne Industries, Robin, or I should probably say Nightwing now, was being groomed by Batman to start taking over. So, for a while now he and Starfire, whom he _finally_ married, started making plans about shifting back to the east coast. Apparently there was a good position for him in Bludhaven office. Somewhere he could learn the ropes and at the same time bring justice to another city that was desperately calling for a hero. They've been there for almost 3 years now. I can't help but feel a sense of pride when I read about how Nightwing and Starfire busted another criminal organization. And I couldn't be happier when Richard and Koriand'r announced the coming of a new member in their family. Turned out gel-boy and the alien princess were compatible after all.

Hats off to them.

Victor remained behind in Jump City. I'm glad I live just a few hours' drive away from him. I would have missed him the most. It's always fun to grab a slice of pizza, some beer, and spend the evening playing video games with him. He's doing some good work too. We all knew he'd never leave the Tower. It was a part of him as much as the T-car. He had given the most when we were building it, constantly upgrading the equipment, fixing the obstacle course, setting up security. And now, he would be the big brother, the protector and mentor to the new group of Teen Titans that lived in the Tower. That, and he's going to propose to Sarah next week. He showed me the ring the last time I was there. It took him nearly 2 months to get the courage to ask her, but I think it's stupid. Anyone can see she's madly in love with him as well. About damn time he popped the question.

And last but certainly not least, Raven.

Ah...the dark sorceress.

The empath.

And my personal favourite...my girlfriend.

All mine.

I was afraid she'd want to break up with me. After everything we'd been through, I would have been pretty damn upset if she told me she'd head back for Azarath. I still remember as she sat down to tell me what she'd do. By then, I had been accepted into university in San Francisco and was packed to spend the summer with Steve and Rita, before the beginning of the semester. I was all ready to hear her say all the cliché statements. We wanted different things, headed in separate directions, and all that jazz.

She bit her bottom lip in that adorable fashion that made me want to kiss her senseless. Then, she quietly showed me a letter of acceptance she had gotten from the same college as me. That was when I really did kiss her senseless.

The summer before college started was hard. She couldn't come to Dayton Estate because her mother called her back to Azarath. Some dimensional political thing that Raven explained, but she still had to keep some details confidential. For 3 months we had to communicate only through letters that were sent through a dimensional transporter box. At least that's what I call it. There's an Azarathian word for it that I just can't get my tongue tied around.

God, I missed her so bad then. Pounced on her like a starving man when she came back. It made me realize how much I loved the little things about her. The way she would smile just a little, how soft her hands were, and how amazing her body felt against mine. I had missed talking to her, missed having her stroke my fur, missed hearing her witty remarks, and so much more.

My ears twitch as they pick up the jangling of keys at our apartment door.

It seemed only natural that Raven and I move in together once we settled in San Francisco. Steve wasn't too happy about the arrangement. Tried giving me the birds and bees talk. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was a few years late for _that_ lecture. Rita gave a lovely house warming gift. A beautiful hand stitched blanket from one of their missions in South America. Raven and I spent a few winters snuggling into it whenever the temperature dropped a little too low. It even joined us at the cabin Steve has in Alaska.

Through a half open eye, I watch as Raven walks in.

'Hey babe,' I call out in greeting.

She gives me a small smile, taking a second to answer. I can see her eyes trail down my almost naked form. I resist giving her a roguish grim. 'Hi,' she replies back.

I continue watching as she slowly removes her cardigan and folds it neatly. Her chakra sparkles into view as she slips off her hologram ring. She grabs a brush and starts running it through her gorgeous purple hair.

'Whatcha been upto?' I say lifting my head up just enough so she can hear me.

'Nothing much,' she says in between her brush strokes. From the mirror, I can see her amethyst eyes flicker back to me. Hands still just for a second, before continuing their motions. 'I went to the grocery store after lectures. I saw we're out of Lucky Charms so I picked some up for you.'

I didn't even think she'd noticed. She rarely has Lucky Charms. A grin plasters itself across my face. 'Thanks Rae. You saved me a trip. Now I get to nap some more.' I close both eyes and start fake snoring really loudly.

Suddenly, a black energy encased pillow whacks me on the back of my head.

'Hey!' I cry out. 'Not nice babe.'

She pretends not to hear me and continues brushing her hair nonchalantly.

I humph and close my eyes. Bury my head into the pillow.

After a few minutes, my nose twitches. I smell my mate's scent. It's strong, which means she's probably come very close. I don't open my eyes, but can feel the mattress sag a bit as Raven sits down carefully next to me. A second later I feel her soft hands run gently across my back. My spine involuntarily curves under her palm, and I can't control the purr that escapes my throat. I crack an eye open surreptitiously as I watch her carefully.

She has a serious expression on her face, and I can see the beginning of a frown start to crease her forehead. I know why, so I don't ask.

Unlike Raven, I can't heal every injury I suffer. I know what she's really running her fingers over. I don't have to be able to look behind my back to see the scars that litter along with my entire body. Some of my wounds are old. Like when Nicholas beat me, and left me homeless on the streets, fighting for scraps. Or when I first started out as a member of the Doom Patrol and didn't get so lucky on the missions. My experiences over the years have left their mark on me. On my back, my chest, my legs. Some of them aren't too bad. Others are pretty gruesome, and had left my skin permanently damaged. The first time I was with Raven I was ashamed to expose myself. I didn't want her to be turned off...to be disgusted by the scars that were a constant reminder of my ugly past.

But she hadn't said anything at all. She had caressed my disfigurements much like she was doing now. Had laid me on her bed, and kissed each one so seductively I had goosebumps all over. She said she loved me, and would always love me. That my scars were as much a part of me as was the Beast. Embraced me for all my flaws...for all my imperfections.

My mind is distracted from its train of thought as her hands become more adventurous. I stifle a moan as her hand slips along my ribs and dips down to the towel. I smell the change in her scent, and it's..._intoxicating_. She pulls at my side and I obligingly turn over. The towel around my hips has come loose and my hand moves to fix it over my manhood.

But Raven suddenly grasps my wrist. With her other hand she brushes away a wet strand of hair so I can see her properly. Without ever breaking eye contact with me, her hand starts making a slow and lazy trek down my face...to my neck...my chest...my abs where it lingers a bit. All the time she's giving me warm kisses, and I feel the Beast rise hastily from his slumber. I gasp against her warm mouth as her hand continues its trip southward before gripping my member.

Within seconds, I feel myself twitch, rising at her delicate strokes and touch. I let out a mournful whimper as she suddenly stops her ministrations and gives my towel a sharp tug pulling it off me. I prop myself on my elbows, as I'm hit hard with the scent of her arousal. The Beast is fully awake now. I can feel it in the way he focuses completely on his mate.

Our mate.

She lifts herself off from me, and this time I do let out a moan.

'Where are you going?' I can't keep the childish whining from my voice. It's downright embarrassing.

She gives a slivery laugh that sends shivers down my spine.

'Patience Gar,' she says simply, her lips curving into a smile.

My eyes never leave her form as she slowly and luxuriously peels off each layer of clothing from her body. I feel a rush of blood to my loins as she wiggles her hips, quickly stepping out off her matching lace panties and bra. I'm proud of myself for holding back so long. She always was worth the wait.

She smiles as she joins me in bed. She pins my wrists down so I can't touch her, and rests all her weight on her knees, keeping herself only inches away from my throbbing erection. She knows physically I can easily push her off myself, but I'm a bit stereotypical. I do love it when she takes control.

She lets go of my hands, but I can still feel them bound above my head.

Sly little temptress.

She's tied my hands with her powers.

I growl at her in frustration, baring my teeth in a mock snarl. 'Let me go Raven.'

She only smirks, as her hands travel once more all over my chest. She bobs down just a little so I can just about feel the wet heat between her legs. 'Why?' she asks a tone that's husky with desire.

She bobs up and down a few more times, each instance lowering herself just a little more on top of me. Just enough to have me writhe against her in anticipation, but enough to put the Beast into a mad frenzy. I buck my hips rebelliously against her. But she thwarts my attempts, and pushes me back down with her hands, laughing.

God damn it. _Why won't she mount me already?_

My question is answered within moments as she suddenly drops all her weight, impaling herself onto me. Our groans of pleasure mix together. I feel her release the hold she has on my hands. They're instantly on her hips, before one moves up to stroke a breast.

I relax completely now, rocking my hips to her movement. Meeting her at her every stroke, every dip, every swell. Right now, as I look upon her glorious form from her heaving chest to warm thighs, I lose myself to her, and only her.

She splays both hands across my chest, balancing herself as she continues riding me slowly, then suddenly very fast, and then slowly again.

_Uhn...ah...Rae..._

I rein in the Beast as much as I can. He feels the same euphoria of the sexual bond I'm sharing with my mate. Over the years, through much patience and practice, I've improved at controlling him, channelling my subconscious desires in better ways. But there's no denying that Raven is the only reason I lose control over my beastly urges. Always have. Always will.

She gasps my name and my eyes focus from her pulsating breasts to her face. She pushes back her hair. I can tell by the way I feel her inner walls contracting that she's coming close to her climax as am I.

The rocking becomes harder. Faster. She pushes down, gather my entire length into her body.

The breathing becomes harsher. The lusty moans become louder.

With a roar, I peak. My body stiffening as a pulsating muscle spasm convulses through my body. It's the most pleasurable feeling in the world. Raven rolls her hips a few more times, her strokes becoming less intense, until she too stops.

With a contented sigh, Raven dismounts me, lifting herself gently off from me. I pull her close to me, and she rests her head on my shoulder. A hand moves to lovingly stroke my sweaty chest, palming just over my madly beating heart. A shapely, warm leg drapes itself on top of mine. She smells of sex, sweat, and her lavender bodywash. I can't get enough of it.

I close my eyes and Raven's soft breathing fills my ears.

I wait until I can control my voice. I turn my head so that I can whisper in her ear, 'I love you Rae.'

She lifts her head up from my shoulder. Raven places a soft kiss on my lips. 'I love you too Gar.'

Losing control never felt _so good_.


	2. Chapter 2

I stifle a gasp as the rush of cold water hits me hard. I fumble for a second as I try to readjust the temperature of the shower. I let the pounding water soothe the slight ache of my shoulders and back. I watch as all the sweat and dirt from the morning is slowly trickling down my grey skin. As I massage the shampoo into my scalp, tangles from earlier slowly loosen.

Closing my eyes I let my mind drift...

How long had it been since I left the only home I knew to being a new life on this planet? In this foreign dimension?

_Too long_...

I won't lie. Sometimes I miss Azarath. I miss the way the pure magical atmosphere of that dimension made me feel..._powerful. _Like I was destined for something truly awe-inspiring. That was before I knew what destiny _really _had in store for me.

Being the portal for a blood-thirsty, war-mongering demon has a strange way of bringing perspective to life.

So, at 14 when I left the only home I knew since birth, I thought that at least I had 2 years left. 731 days (it was a leap year) for redemption. At least, that's what I desperately hoped for. The irony of a half-demon hoping for absolvement was not lost on me. What I certainly didn't expect to find were 4 other teenagers with emotional baggage almost as heavy as my own.

Almost.

The fact that we all had daddy issues was purely coincidental.

Nightwing (there's another Robin now, don't want to confuse the two). The quiet confidant and brother whose strength alone saved me from the pits of Hell.

Starfire, the sister I never knew I'd learn to care for and cherish more than anything in this world.

Cyborg, the brother whose support made me feel like no challenge was too big to overcome.

And Changeling. I stopped calling him Beastboy a while back. Didn't seem right to call him a boy anymore. He was the probably the one burdened by his past more than anyone. But back then, he rarely ever showed it. He was the green jester, with his toothy grin and stupid pranks. Of all the people, in all the worlds of this universe, I fell for that goofy idiot. Hard.

At times I wonder who the bigger fool truly is.

If you asked me, I probably couldn't tell you when I really started paying attention to him. After defeating my father, I was left a little in the lurch, unsure of what to do next. I really hadn't planned my life after 16, since I wasn't expected to survive becoming the portal. And then suddenly, here I was. Alive and back. I may not have shown it to the others then, but I was absolutely petrified.

What in Azar was the next step?

That's when Beastboy stepped up. The damn fool wouldn't leave me alone.

Did I want to stay back for movie night?

Did I want to have some tofu bacon for breakfast?

Could he join me for meditation? (I'll admit, that one made me pause a little)

Did I want to go out with him on a date?

Now _that_ threw me completely off. I looked up from the book I was reading and looked him right in the eye. When he returned my icy gaze with a quiet calmness, it was my turn to be unnerved. It was more out of curiosity that I answered yes. He flashed me that grin of his, and I felt my stomach flutter a little. What had I gotten myself into?

That first date had been a truly memorable point in our relationship. He had set up a table and chairs on the roof and served dinner. Eggplant zucchini gratin and fried tofu. Not only had he cooked it from scratch, but it was delicious. I was surprised when he spoke about some of my favourite authors, recent changes in world politics, and a whole lot more topics I didn't think he even had a clue about. It made me realize that when I wasn't looking, Beastboy had _changed_.

I took that moment on the roof to really notice him.

We were still young and in our late teens, but as the years passed, puberty had been exceptionally kind to him. Where there had once been stringy limbs, was now layered with a thick set of muscles. His new suit barely seemed to contain the added bulk. He had grown into his ears, and his voice had deepened. When he spoke my name, I felt a shiver run down my spine. I warned him. Told him in my monotone that I simply didn't do emotions. Couldn't risk anything more than what we had done today.

But he was stubborn. And persistent.

Over the next few months, it was the little things I noticed. The flowers that perched delicately outside my door, the smile on his face whenever he saw me, long walks on the beach (he could be quite persuasive), the utter ruthlessness he showed in battle if I was ever harmed, or the steaming cup of herbal tea that was always ready after my meditation. The hand that would shyly find my own became more frequent.

Against my will and better judgement I found myself loosing the power to resist him. To block out the emotions of longing, compassion, and deep seeded desire that radiated unrestrained off his aura.

But I was still hesitant. I had seen what Rage had been capable of. What would happen if I let Lust or even Love take over? It was a risk not worth taking. So, after almost a year of growing closer than ever before, I slowly drew back from him.

It took the Doom Patrol to make me realize just how much I liked...no..._loved _him.

It was a quiet winter evening when he announced to the team he was leaving for a few days. The Doom Patrol had a covert mission in South America, and they needed him back. He said he would be back soon. But I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. Something didn't seem right. He was hiding something from us. He left quietly that night. It hurt when he didn't come to see me in privacy.

The days turned into months. Infrequent video messages simply said he needed more time. That their mission wasn't going as planned. He hoped we'd understand. Not that we had much choice to do otherwise.

The Tower grew quiet. The game console gathered dust as neither Nightwing nor Cyborg found the desire to play. Tofu and soya milk spoiled in the fridge as they lay neglected, but none of us had the heart to throw it out. Starfire would spend most evenings looking across the bay, hoping to catch some flash of green in the sky.

And I did what I do best.

I regressed back into myself. Losing him made me realize how much he had opened me up to the world. To my emotions. To him.

A call in the early hours on a morning 5 months after Beastboy left snapped us all to attention. Mento had some good news and bad news. The good news was that their mission, which he still wouldn't elaborate on, had been a success. The bad news was that Beastboy had been injured and was in a coma. He had already been out for a week.

Nightwing was torn. On one side we all couldn't leave the city unprotected. But Beastboy wasn't just a team mate. He was family. I made the decision for him. I would go to Dayton Estate, and bring him back home.

Back to me.

I left within the hour with a portal. It was faster than flying. Rita greeted me, and without asking, she took me straight to Beastboy. I didn't bother admiring the vast expanse and beauty of Dayton Manor. I didn't care.

Seeing him in the bed with all those medical equipment and pipes surrounding him made my heart drop to my stomach. There was no controlling the tear that suddenly fell down the curve of my cheek. As my Emotions all cried out in their various shades of passion, I realized at that moment what a fool I had been.

I poured all my powers into him, hoping desperately it would make some difference. That I would once again hear my name on his lips, hear his laugh, embrace the warmth that he so ardently tried to share with me before. It took a week before any noticeable change occurred. A fluttering of eyes, a pained groaned, and he _finally _woke up. Cliff had been by my side, and he ran off to tell the rest of the team members that Garfield was awake again.

His recovery, thank Azar for his genes, had been relatively quick. It would be two more weeks before he finally had the strength to come back home. A few days before our departure from Dayton Estate, I helped him walk slowly around the magnificent gardens surrounding the estate. He leans heavily on a cane, weighed down by a pain he refuses to burden me with healing. And then he asks me what changed my mind. About him. About us.

_Everything_, is my reply.

He smiles a little at that, and cups one hand affectionately to my face. He leans close to me, a thumb gently stroking my cheek. His breath is hot on my neck as he whispers delicately in my ear whether or not he is worth the risk.

I pull him down and kiss him with all the passion I have denied the both of us thus far.

''A thousand times over...Garfield,'' I whisper back to him.

My day dreaming is cut short when I hear the bathroom door open softly. I almost don't hear it because of the shower, but using my empathic touch, I know I'm no longer alone. I don't bother to turn around as I hear the shower curtain rustle as a body steps in.

Two warm hands splay across my shoulder blades, and I repress the shiver it sends through me. There's only one person whose touch makes my body respond like that. Gar's hands are rough, calloused by years of fighting and training, but they are gentle. Just like the man. There is the unmistakable hardness of metal on one of his fingers.

I ease into his touch as he continues stroking and massaging my back, hands roaming freely and uninhibited. They move down to my rear, and I feel them linger. Tracing the raven shaped birthmark. You'd think by now, after seeing it so many times, he'd get used to it.

Apparently the answer remained no.

Suddenly, his hands grip my hips and with a sharp tug he pulls me towards him. My back hits hard muscles, and I gasp with rapture as his lips immediately attach to my shoulder. Licking at the water, nibbling at the skin.

One of my hands is around his head, fingers running through the thick wet forest green hair. The other reaches around to his-

He quickly grasps my wrist and pins it against my body. I struggle a little, but his other arm curves under my breasts and grips me tightly to him. With my naked back pressed against his bare chest, I feel _everything_. Every heavy breath he takes, every bulge of muscle that is covered by his green skin. I feel it all.

''Oh Rae...''

His hands now roam on my stomach, the water making it easy for him to slide them up and cup my breasts. I know the moistness between my legs is not because of the shower. I turn around in his arms so I'm face to face with him. The water has soaked his hair, making rivulets run down his face. His eyes roam my body just like his hands, drinking in everything. In the swirl of emotions in his eyes, I can see the Beast, sense him flooding Gar with urges they both shared.

I let him enjoy a handful of me. Now it's my turn.

My fingers run across his green skin as it's pulled taut over rippling muscles. Muscles that stiffen under my touch. He pulls me close to him again, pressing our nakedness together. A deep satisfied purr from him reverberates even within me.

As Starfire would so eloquently say. _Glorious._

Before he can lower his head and kiss me, I suddenly materialize a loofah sponge in my hands. Poor Gar gets a mouthful of that. He sputters in indignation.

'Awww...what?'

'Hey...you have to earn your stay Gar.'

'But I was just about to-'

'No excuses. You enjoy it. You take care of it.'

He rolls his eyes.

Damn. That's not a habit I hoped would rub off on him.

He gives me a smile that more predatory than charming. 'I don't need the loofah. I prefer doing this part with my hands.' I blush slightly at the cheekiness of his tone. Wordlessly, I hand him the lilac-scented shower gel, and he squirts some onto his hand. Once again I turn my back to him, and he begins scrubbing me. He liberally rubs my shoulder blades, using his fingers to gently massage tense areas before repeating the motion on my lower back and rear.

When I turn around, he first begins work on my arms. Placing both my hands on his shoulders, he once again begins scrubbing with gusto, weaving his fingers between mine before moving up to my shoulders. When it comes time to clean my front, he takes his time. He lavishes attention to my chest as he lovingly soaps my breasts. I bite down on my bottom lip. I really don't want him to see how much pleasure I'm getting from this. But judging from the roguish grin on his face, I'm not doing a good job of it.

Trigon be damned.

He brushes past me to reach for more shower gel and I feel the hardness of his erection graze against me. It only serves to generate a carnal heat that is slowly blazing away at the pit of my stomach. If we're going to continue this game, I'm not sure I'll last very long. Already I'm fighting the urge to push him down onto the floor and mount him right this very moment.

Handing me his shower gel he says in very deep voice. 'Your turn.'

Just like him, I refuse the sponge and use my hands. I take my time as I scrub his back. I can't help but trace the scars that are a lighter shade of green than his skin. I remember how self conscious and embarrassed he was about them the night we first made love. I was shocked by them, undoubtedly. But if he thought that some ugly scars were suddenly going to change my feelings towards him, then he was terribly mistaken. I loved him for everything his was. And that night was the first night among many where I showed him just that.

Without thinking, I wrap my arms around his sculpted torso and press myself against him. I kiss his prominent shoulder blade. I hear him chuckle lightly and one of his hands envelopes mine completely.

'Are you done so quickly babe? I think you missed a few spots...'

I snort in spite of myself. 'Nope, I'm good. Have a nice shower. Don't forget to scrub the back of your neck. And take care of...that' I say with a pointed look southward. I quickly step out, grabbing a towel to dry myself. I'm about to pick up my bra and panties when Gar violently pulls back the shower curtain. He hastily dries himself and before I can say anything he grasps my waist and throws me over his shoulder caveman style.

The mirror cracks with my surprise.

'What in Trigon's hell are you doing?'

He completely ignores my question. 'That's seven years bad luck right there Raven.' I beat my small fists uselessly against his more powerful frame spewing threats. But he doesn't seem to care. Walking to our bedroom he all but tosses me onto our bed. I look up at him in surprise, pulling back purple hair from my line of vision.

'Garfield Mark Logan. If you think-'

Before I can finish my sentence he rushes in and before I can cross my legs. Instead they're now wrapped around his trim waist. I gasp as I feel his arousal press blatantly against the wetness between my legs. That dangerous grin crosses his face again, and I know the game's up. No doubt, he can feel my arousal too. Probably intoxicated by the scent of it.

He licks his lips and I swallow. His teeth are white and gleaming. They've grown sharp over the years, and the fang that I used to find adorable looks a bit intimidating right about now. My only response at this moment is slide just a little up the bed until my head finds the soft pillows. Garfield follows me and I moan in pleasure as he gently lowers part of his bulk onto me.

'Where are you trying to go Rae?'

'I would have liked to put my clothes on right about now, thank you for asking.'

He barks a laugh. It's short and sharp. A large green hand splays itself across my abdomen pushing me down and holding me in place. The other is on my side, propping him up. I see Gar's eyes darken with desire, and I know right now, the Beast is probably very close to the surface. But, given that his hands still haven't morphed into claws, I know Garfield is still in control. The hand moves up to my breast, warmly enveloping it. I shudder in pleasure as he rolls the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and it beads under his ministrations.

I grab the back of his head. I run my tongue across his lips, coaxing them apart. Our tongues engage in an electrical dance...a duel for supremacy. We both end up surrendering. By now I've memorized the taste and smell of him. His hair smells like a pine forest, his skin like the salty ocean. Kissing him is like kissing the open wilderness. Like an untameable force, that only now and then allows itself to be leashed. Although I feel today is not going to be one of those times.

He breaks the kiss, but continues down my neck, and halts at my chest. His lips enclose around the other breast, and a loud audible moan marks the feeling of his tongue swirling around.

_Oh yes...Gar..._

He lifts his head. Damn that smile. 'Yes?'

'What?' I ask stupidly.

'You said my name.'

_Out loud? Crap-on-a-stick._

I attempt to scowl. Here we both are completely naked, and the fool's asking questions.

'No I didn't.'

He slides up the slope of my body, resting his weight partially on top of me. 'Yes...' he whispers lowly. Seductively. 'You did.'

I swallow to keep the tremble from my voice. 'You're becoming senile with age.'

'And you are a terrible liar.'

I fake a snarl. 'I'll blast you off me.'

'You could have done that 10 minutes ago, but here we still are.' He rubs his nose affectionately against mine, before his teeth start nibbling at the fluttering pulse of my neck. 'I can _smell_ your arousal Raven. _Taste_ your desire.' He aligns his hips with mine.

Enough games. I'm tired of playing.

I cup his face affectionately with both hands, and am pleased when his eyes glaze over. I place the softest kiss on his lips before spreading my legs wide for him.

'Then what are you waiting for?' I ask in a husky voice.

The words have barely left my mouth before he dives his hips forward, burying himself completely into me. My back arches with the force of his thrust, pushing my breasts to his chest. He growls in approval. He pulls out almost entirely, before pushing his length back in again. And again. And again. Soon, his hips move in a strong rhythm as ancient as time itself.

A war could be raging outside our window, but I couldn't care less. I'm lost in the moment, swept away by his panting, his croons of pleasure. He enters me time and again, placing soft kisses between every few thrusts. I flex my hips, rolling my pelvis. Grinding it hard against his. That carnal spark in me is now blazing in full strength, scorching us both with its flame. I've no control anymore, and I let him take from me everything, giving myself up. Azar knows, I need him badly right now.

Our sweat mixes together, making our movements easier. But the slickness makes me slip against the sheets. Gar growls a little. He hooks one arm around my shoulder, and the other grasps my rear left cheek, holding me in place. His thrusts become harder...faster...deeper, and he pounds me to my very core.

Apart from when we climax, neither of us closes our eyes when we make love. So now, I'm looking deep into his eyes. My hands have never left his face as I see the swirl of emotions dance across. Beastly lust...euphoria...desire...happiness...love. He's completely opened his gates and I am privy to all emotions of this boy.

This boy who made my life so much brighter with his smile, his laughter, his love. This boy who became a man in front of my eyes, and makes me believe that anything is possible. That the future holds only happiness for the both of us. Everyday my love for him grows, and it's both frightening and exhilarating.

He loudly moans my name, and I feel that familiar build up in the pit of my stomach. Gar feels it too, and he increases the strength and speed of his thrusts even more if it were possible. I feel the sharp prick of claws on my thigh and shoulder. Beads of sweat speckle across his green forehead.

'Gar...' I manage to warn him.

Without missing a beat or thrust, he loosens his grip on my body and instead balls his fists into the sheets.

'Sorry...I...uhn..._Rae...' _

Now I'm not usually a screamer, but at this moment, as a pulse pounding orgasm rocks through my very core, I let lose a cry of ecstasy. Back arches, toes curl, and the hands that had gripped around Gar's shoulders dig in hard.

He follows me soon after with a roar. His strokes become less intense, until finally stopping completely. He attempts to roll off me, not wanting to drop his entire weight, but I'm no longer a small teenager.

I'm a grown woman. I won't break so easily.

Clearly.

He's about to protest, but I stop him. 'It's fine. I want you to.'

Without further argument, he collapses, his head pillowed by my breast. His breathing is ragged like my own. I stroke his back, helping him down from his high. My fingers run gently across the bumps and scars. I'm struck again by our physical differences. His skin is dark green, mine pale grey. He is tall and broad, with thick muscles. I'm small, slim and toned. His skin is warm, becoming hot right after sex, and marred with scars. I'm almost always cool, and unblemished thanks to my healing abilities.

I had once offered to heal him if he still felt self-conscious. His ears had wilted slightly, and he asked me if I wanted him to. I told him I loved him and couldn't care less. He smiled at that and said then he didn't either.

After a few moments, Garfield lifts his head slightly. I sigh in pleasure as his warm tongue licks at the sweat between the valley of my breasts. A little shifting of his hips and he gently pulls out. But our moment of bliss is shattered by a loud, piercing wail.

We both turn our heads towards the device at the bedside table. It issues another wail, lights blinking.

'Awww...dude...what?' Garfield groans, his face once again burying between my peaks.

'No rest for the wicked Gar,' I say, weaving my fingers in his hair, gently massaging his scalp. 'At least we got to finish...unlike the _last _time.'

The sound of a baby crying reaches its peak.

'I put her down just before coming to you...'Gar mumbles.

I shift under him, propping myself on my elbows. 'Let me go and-'

'No, it 'kay. I'll go. I'll make sure to put her to sleep properly this time.'

He gets up, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses on my body as he crawls off to the bed's edge. I hear him fumble around the room for a second. Without lifting my head from the pillow, I call out, 'Your boxers are near the bathroom door.'

'Oh...right. Thanks Raven.'

'Gar...'

'Hmm?'

'Use the milk I left in the-'

'Bottom right self of the fridge.'

'And don't forget to-'

'Heat it up before feeding Angie, I remember.'

'Make sure you first-'

'Test the heat by dabbing some on my wrist. I _know_ babe.'

I shut my mouth.

'Anything else boss?'

I scowl at him. 'Bite me.'

'Hold that thought,' he replies with a cheeky tone. He agilely dodges the pillow I use my powers to throw at him. He laughs. 'You know, I'm sure in a few countries that constitutes as spousal abuse.'

'Not if I heal your bruises,' I mumble under my breath.

The pillow lands with a thud on my stomach. 'I heard that,' he calls out as he walks to the nursery.

I humph and roll over onto my side. My eyes drift as they follow the trail of picture frames dotted across our bedroom. Our last night as Teen Titans. Our apartment in San Francisco. Family get together at Mariand'r Grayson's first birthday. Graduation from college. And my personal favourite...our wedding day. I note with a little frown that we haven't taken any recent photos since our move to Africa.

Since my trip to Azarath on mother's behest, Garfield and I haven't been apart since the beginning of college. After graduation, he enrolled into a Masters program and I took a job at a nearby private school, teaching History and Languages. We spent two more years living and protecting San Francisco. It was our home now. It felt right. And then, right after graduating, Garfield had proposed. I knew the answer, and I didn't hesitate to give it to him. I never could say no to him.

Garfield had always spoken of Africa, hoping one day to return and put to use his knowledge to help the people. He asked me if it was something I'd consider. I had followed him to another city. Surely as his wife, he didn't doubt I'd follow him to _any _corner of the world?

The choice to build a home in Upper Lumumba seemed the perfect. One generation of Logans had started some good work there. It seemed only right the next generation of Logans would continue their legacy. King Twaba greeted Garfield like the prodigal son who returned home. Over the months we settled into our new lives, I saw and experienced the compassion and love of a father I had lacked my entire life.

Now Changeling and Raven protected Africa. Both its majestic people and animals.

I hear Gar sing a lullaby off key, but it seems to be working. Angie isn't wailing any longer, and through the baby monitor, I can hear Gar coo and lull her to sleep. I smile as I hear the soft burble of my daughter, Angella Victoria Logan.

My little baby girl.

She was our little miracle child. Turned out sakutia had dealt a final blow to Garfield. His medical report revealed that surviving the virus had rendered him sterile. And if by any chance his...contribution made it, there was little scope of my becoming pregnant. His unstable DNA couldn't withstand the process of fertilization. Not to mention the fact that I was only half human.

I'm ashamed to admit that more that myself, Garfield had been crushed. He had always longed for a child. To give a baby...his baby...the opportunities and loving guidance he himself had been robbed of. I didn't have the heart to tell him that perhaps it was for the better. Maybe this was God's way to making sure that Trigon's lineage ended with me. No longer would his genes taint the world.

But hearing him, feeling his sadness brought even an ache in me. Maybe my bearing a child wouldn't be such a curse on the world after all. And there was no better person to be the father than Garfield. Seeing his desire over the years even before our marriage meant I needed little convincing. I was older. More mature. Much stronger. But I needed advice. So I went to the only person I knew understood my dilemma.

For a month I stayed in Azarath, consulting the monks, but more than anything, seeking the consul of my mother. Who better than her would understand the fear I had to continuing Trigon's bloodline in the mortal world. I expected her to say I was right. I'd save the world from another apocalyptic future.

But instead she had said how my birth was never my mistake. It had been hers and I was made to bear the consequences. For the first time in years, I saw the woman I knew mostly as Arella shed silent tears. She said how after I was born she couldn't believe such a beautiful baby could be born through such an act of evil. Could I ever forgive her for her own stupid youthful indiscretion?

For the first time in many long years, I hugged my mother. Our relationship had been strained due to her having been forced to maintain a distance. But now that I had more control over my emotions and powers, our relationship was on the path of mending. Bolstered by my mother's confidence in my abilities to raise a child, even one with Trigon's genes, I returned home to my fiancé.

After we married, we spoke to specialists, both medical and mystical around the world and the neighbouring galaxies. Hoping to find someone, anyone in our quest. After 2 years, we finally found the answer to our prayers. Victor's father, Dr. Stone had heard of our plight. In an effort to get back on his son's good side, he had developed an experimental serum he believed would make Garfield's DNA stable long enough to at least conceive. But the window of opportunity, he warned, wasn't long. In order to offset the potency on the serum, he had mixed it with a catalyst. We only had a few days to have a baby. He also warned that he didn't exactly test all the side effects since there weren't any other shape shifters like Garfield.

What he didn't warn us about though, was how painful the procedure was going to be on Garfield. When I saw the re-enforced steel chair with straps I knew instantly something was wrong. But Garfield was stubborn. It was worth the risk he said.

Damn his borderline foolish optimism.

6 thick needles pierced his skin in 6 different places. He gritted his teeth initially, biting down on the mouthpiece. But when the serum was injected into him, he let out a blood curdling scream, and his body spasmed violently in pain. I nearly pulled out the needles, about to destroy the equipment in my moment of uncontrollable fear. No slim possibility of a future baby was worth losing him over. But he screamed out to not stop. And I could only watch, restrained now by Victor, as my husband's body convulsed on itself. His body uncontrollably shifted into grotesque shapes, until he finally passed out from the pain.

When it was finally over, and I got a grip on my slipping powers, I stuck to the plan and teleported us to Steve's Alaskan cabin, where we spent our honeymoon. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I knew we only had a few days. I was torn with attempting to wake him from his unconsciousness or letting him recover from his ordeal.

The choice was made for me late on our 2nd night at the cabin. I'm in a deep sleep, when I suddenly felt familiar warm hands that were rough but trying to be gentle, coax my legs apart. I hear a rumble and throaty voice rasp my name. As sleep leaves me, and I gather my senses I feel the heavy weight of Garfield roll on top on me. Despite himself, I now understand the serum has given the Beast unusual control over my husband. With impatience, his hands morph into claws and he rips my silk negligee to shreds. That annoys me a bit. It was my favourite. Using my powers I flip us so I'm the one in control. A quick spell and I have him pinned down.

As I straddle him, I feel the unmistakeable hardness he grinds purposefully against my leg. I stroke his face attempting to get through to the man under the Beast. 'Beast,' I say softly. To love Garfield is to love him as well, so I'm gentle with him.

He stops writhing underneath me. 'Mate,' he purrs in response.

'That's right. Mate is right here. I'm not going anywhere.' To illustrate, I grind my crotch against him.

'But,' I say softly looking him direct in the eye. 'I need you let Garfield back up to the surface.'

'Boy?' he asks in a raspy deep voice.

'Yes.' I grasp his shoulders, making sure to keep his arms pinned above his head. I note with a little worry that I had dressed Garfield in boxers and a t-shirt for the night. Right now, he was stark naked. When the Beast found the time and power to control Garfield's body without shifting long enough to strip down is beyond me.

He frowns.

'Want mate. Now. Need mate.'

'I know Beast. But mate will get hurt. Do you want that?' I play the guilt card unashamed.

Now his eyes soften much like the man's would. 'No. Not hurt mate. Beast wants. Boy wants.'

'That's right. Neither of you want that. So please. Let me speak to the boy.'

Without answering, the green eyelids close. When they open, the familiar aura of Garfield is back. 'Raven...what happened? Where am I?' He starts to look around, eyes wide. 'Where are we? And...' his eyes bulge out. 'Why am I _naked?_'

I press a slender finger to his lips to silence his unending questions. I catch him up since our session at S.T.A.R Labs. In a rare break from character, he listens quietly to what I have to say. At length, he finally speaks.

'Rae...I can't...I don't want to hurt you.'

'You won't. You weren't awake. The Beast was. I think the serum gave him a stronger grip on your mind. Normally he's the one that sleeps until you call him. Now, it's the reverse. But he let you back in control. That's got to be good, right?'

'He's not completely given me control. He wants you. _I _want you. Real bad Raven. It might be...too rough. You won't enjoy it.'

'This isn't about me. If we want to conceive, then this is our only option.'

'Oh Rae,' his voice is mournful. I know he wants to touch my cheek, but I don't loosen my grip on his bound hands. 'I didn't think it was going to end up like this. I don't want to use you.'

I stretch out on top of his broad, muscular frame, stroking his chest. 'You're not. I want this too.'

'Promise me,' his voice is firm, '_promise_ you won't let him...me...hurt you. Blast me if you have to. But do _not_ do anything you don't want.'

'I promise.' I seal it with a kiss.

'I'm going to let you go. Just...' I swallow. 'Try to control him. You've done it before. Do it again. For me.'

He nods. 'Always for you.' He closes his eyes, and when he opens them, they're dark with desire. The pupils are contracted. Like a predators. The second I let go of him, I'm on my back before I can say Azarath Metrion Zinthos.

Because I had straddled him before, now Garfield's body was primed and in the perfect place. But instead of plunging in and taking me immediately, his body remains poised and perfect still. I look into the dark green eyes, and for a second I feel lost in their depths.

The hands that reach to stroke my face tenderly has claws, but the way it delicately strokes the curve of my cheeks before moving to my breast is reminiscent of Garfield. I look up in surprise. The face that looms above me is that of the man I love. My soul mate. My lover. My husband.

'Mate...' the voice is neither raspy nor completely clear. A mixture. An echo of two beings speaking in one voice.

'Mate,' I confirm. I prop myself up a little enough to kiss him, hoping it will help. I spread my legs, ready to welcome him into my body.

'I love you, Gar.'

A shudder runs through his body. His head suddenly drops to my chest, and I feel him take in a few shaky breaths, as if he's come from a long struggle. The eyes that now lock onto mine are Garfield's.

'I love you too Rae.'

In a second they darken, and without further warning, he thrusts his entire length into me.

That night our love making was frenzied yet controlled. Savage but at times gentle. Restrained...then uncontrolled. It lasted into the morning, and it was well after dawn before either of us fell asleep, completely exhausted. And it happened the next night. And the night after that.

_Is it worth the risk? _He asks me one the second night of our love making in the cabin. It seems for now Garfield is back in control. He holds me close to him, gently stroking my nude form.

I look at him. Running a finger across a small scar right about his right nipple, I reply.

_A thousand times over_.

I'm shaken from my reminiscing as our bedroom door opens. 'Did you get her to fall asleep?' I ask turning slightly.

Gar slips off his boxers again, and joins me where I've curled under the sheets. Without his body to warm me, I had found the next best thing. He wraps his body around him, hugging me close. I can hear him take a deep inhale. It's flattering how he finds my scent so relaxing.

'I did. Feed and burped her too. Pretty sure she's down for the count.'

'Good.' I yawn despite the fact it's not anywhere near night time.

'Get some rest Raven. You had a long day this morning.'

'Yeah. But it was worth it. I got the entire 4 acres to the west of Twaba's village plowed with the helpers. Tomorrow we can start planting the crops.'

He kisses my shoulder and hugs me tighter, entwining our fingers.

'Nice going. I'm impressed.'

'Damn right you should be,' I mumble, but I'm already feeling pretty tired.

Before I'm too far gone, I can't help but smile a little as the sun rays peek through the curtains long enough to glint off the wedding bands on both our fingers.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_ _Not too long I hope? Let me know what you all think! Reviews are always loved...blatant flattery works even better. _

_Peace out ya'll!_


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